Home for Christmas!

So...... the semester ended, I found out that I passed my CBEST test, I got my grades back, 4 A's and 2 B's (one of which i was very surprised about because I expected something lower :/ but I was excited :)) And no news yesterday like we thought. It was a hard day yesterday, not really knowing what was going on. But today, I got a call from Nick. He actually tricked me, the call started out something like this......

Him: "Hi babe"

Me: "hi babe, how are you?"

Him: "I'm ok"

Me: "So you wont be coming home wednesday huh?"

Him: "no"

Me:"Oh...."

Him:"jk im coming home tomorrow (wed.)!!!!"

Me: "AHHHHHHHH"

(imagine me screaming here as he laughs at tricking me)

Anyway thats how I found out. As long as the weather doesn't cause any delays he should be landing tomorrow at about 10:21pm

I know tomorrow will probably be THE longest day of my life lol.

I can't wait to see him. AND he will be home for Christmas :)

I am SOOOO excited, this has truly been a good week, I am so thankful and excited to continue this blessed week by celebrating Christ's birth.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!! :)

A Bitter-Sweet Announcement.

Yesterday I received not 1, not 2, not 3 but 4 letters from Nick :) I was so happy, my dad brought them to work for me when they came, it was so nice :) Nick has been so successful in Illinois. The Lord has been able to use him so much to reach many of his peers. He got a 100% on his first test. One of the main guys in charge came up to him and said, "I don't shake recruits hands but I am going to shake yours." He is doing so well and I am so proud of him.

So...... as many of you know, Nick has been very sick. He has not felt well for most of his time there, he has been gone for a month now and only had about 4 more weeks to go. He was expected to graduate on January 15, as I mentioned before. Yesterday he called his dad and told him, he is being sent home. He has two kidney stones, one in each kidney, they are pretty large so they have to send him home. This is so confusing because the Lord has really used this month to glorify Himself and has taught both Nick and myself so much through all of this. Although this is not the ideal outcome for now, we are both trusting the Lord. He is in control, He has been the whole time, this is a reminder of that. I have been reminded to be still and know He is God. He has a plan, whatever it is we are excited to see. This all is bitter-sweet. I am bummed he will have to come home, but SO excited to see him. He can always go back but will have to wait a year and start all over. But we are trusting the Lord will show us what He wants and guide us in His will. Whatever the Lord wants is what we want. We know it was His will to be there during this time and I am continuing to pray God uses Him while he is there and on His travels back home. I am also praying for His friend Carter, who is still in boot-camp and is now the only strong believer there. For some reason God wants Nick to come back home for a while, we don't know, it is all confusing but I know God has a plan, and is still in control. He is our guide and we will allow him to direct our steps.

He should be home in about 2 weeks. A few days before, on, or a few days after Christmas. Please pray he is home for Christmas :D that would be so nice :)

Please pray for guidance, wisdom, and clear direction from the Lord for both Nick and myself, thanks :)

Long Blog and 40 more days!!!.... hopefully...

WOW! Thats all I can really say. So much has happened since Nick left. Today is day 27. I have, so far, sent 30 letters and 1 card. I am LOVING getting to write to him. I will admit that sometimes it makes it harder because I am really focused and thinking about him when I write but I think about him so much throughout the day that it is nice to tell him what is going on.

So.... let me think... I got sick. I was sick over Thanksgiving break. I did not know what was wrong with me so I went to the doctors the Monday before Thanksgiving, he did an xray and said he did not know what was wrong with me either. But obviously something was, I was in excrusiating pain and could not do anything. I had a constant fever and was throwing up (sorry for the details) and felt horrible. You have to know that I NEVER get sick, I have always had the best immune system but not this time, I was def sick. So he told me to go home and rest and take tylenol and come back in a few days if I was not feeling better. My friend Bethany brought me some flowers with a note, so that was nice, such a blessing! :)

So yep... Wed. I was def. going back but this time I decided to go to Urgent Care. They did a test then figured out I had a kidney infection! Crazy bc Nick and his sister both had them a month prior. Kidney infections are not contagious so that is why it was so ironic that they both had it and then I got it. I decided it was because I had started working out a lot and I was not drinking enough water so I was dehydrated. So anyway... they gave me a shot and some medicine, actually 3 medicines and I started feeling a little better.

My sister and her boyfriend Justin (actually it was his idea) bought me flowers :)

and a few friends brought over another nice little blessing.

Thursday I was still very sick but I decided that I was going to go to my aunts with my family anyway, it was after all, Thanksgiving. So I went. I was sick and didn't feel well like the whole time but I was happy I went. Friday I had to work, and I was almost back to myself but I was ok. Then Saturday I was back. I was finally me again! It was so painful I don't know how Nick could handle being sick for so long before they found out that was what he had. So.... Sunday... I got my ears pierced... I have been wanting to, when I was little I had them pierced but they got infected so they had to close. So I decided I was going to do it. I was at the mall with my mom getting pedicures :D and then I was like lets go I am going to do it! Very brave of me by the way bc my ears are very sensitive and sometimes I pass out when I get shots but... I did it! I did not pass out and I had 2 girls do it at the same time so I got it over with at once! :) YAY! :) so then school this week and work, I still had not received a letter from Nick and to be honest I was getting a little depressed, his mom had already gotten 2 by Tue. so... Wed. I get home from school and... my sister tells me I have a letter on my desk from Nick!!!!!! I started crying before I even opened it. (the girl emotional part of me coming out) and I LOVED the letter it was so nice to read it. In the letter he referred to a 1st letter, so this was really the second so I was wondering what had happened to the first... but later that night found out that KC and my friends Walter and Ily and Michelle both got a letter too! I was so thankful I got mine before I found out that they got there's lol. I would have been a mess! Anyway, it was nice to hear he is doing so well! He is a Section Leader in his division, which means he is always busy and has about 15 guys under him. In his division about 5 people have already been sent home. 2 guys had nervous break downs! CRAZY! But Nick is doing very well and he has been able to share the Lord with many people out there. He also has a Christian friend which I have been praying for :) So... YAY! things are going great :) I am so thankful for the Lord's faithfulness and for continuing to bless us! Thursday it was our friend Walter's birthday and we went out to dinner :) We got dressed up and that was a blast! Of course I was missing Nick though. And then Friday... I was at school and then got home, checked the mail (hoping the 1st letter would come) and as I am walking in... wait for it.... NICK CALLED ME!!!!!! It was so nice to hear his voice and talk with him. He also told me he felt bad bc the first letter got sent back, he put his parents zip code instead of mine but that I have letters on the way :) yay! And he is sending the 1st one back. He also mentioned he can only send them on Sundays.. If anyone wants to write to him, they can give it to me and I will send it along with mine, the more, the better! Anyway...but then he said "I might have some bad news.... I might get sent home" that was NOT was I was thinking I would hear. Apparently he has been sick the whole time he has been gone, he didn't want to tell us because he didn't want us to worry. We are thinking it has to do with his kidneys but he has felt this way the whole time! (So... I think the Lord allowed me to get sick so I can feel a little of what he is and sympathize with him more, it is SO painful) anyway.... He has a cat scan next week and then we will know what is wrong, if he can't get better he will get sent home! :( so be praying... Nick and I are trusting God, whatever the Lord wants is what Nick and I both are praying for, His will be done. If he is able to get in medical and get better then the only thing is his graduation will be later than January 15, which is the current date that he is supposed to graduate, which will also mean he probably would no longer be a section leader because he will be in a new division. So all of this is to ask that you please be praying for him. Thanks so much for all of your prayers! But it was so nice to hear his voice when I got to talk to him :) I miss him so much. Later I went to his house and talked with his mom for a few hours. It is so nice to be close to his family. I am so thankful for them!

Saturday I had to take the CBEST, I am hoping I did well on that, and then in the afternoon I hung out with my sister Kendall, I asked her to take some pictures of me that I could send to Nick :) So... we went to the park, we were going to go by the mission inn but I decided there would be too many people and that would be WAY too embarrassing for me lol. So we went, we took 171 pics... lol obviously some didn't turn out but there were some that I have picked out to send him :)

Here are a few... more are on my facebook....

so that was fun and now I am here, I have had a nice relaxing weekend. My last day of this semester is December 17, so I am almost on Christmas break. I have a lot of things coming up, I have planned to do a lot with friends and family over break, hoping time will fly by faster :) so anyway thats what has been happening. I am missing Nick more than ever but excited to see what the Lord is going to do in our lives :) I am so blessed by so many friends and family and very thankful. Thank you for praying :)

This is a map on my phone from my house to Nicks current address.... 1983.5 miles away... TOO MANY...

Anyway, thanks for reading, and going on this journey with me. Trusting the Lord and excited to see what He has planned.

Blessings!

Letting God fix the fix

November 17
	Ye also, as lively stones are built up a spiritual house …
	1 Peter 2:5
That we are living stones who are being built up, or fit together, as a spiritual house brings to mind a most interesting Scripture ... And the house, when it was in building, was built of stone made ready before it was brought thither: so that there was neither hammer nor axe nor any tool of iron heard in the house, while it was in building (1 Kings 6:7). When Solomon’s Temple was being constructed, all of the chiseling, hammering, cutting, and chipping was done underneath the old city of Jerusalem so that when the stones were taken to the Temple Mount, they could be fit together in silence. We’re living stones being fit together for an eternal temple in heaven. This life is the quarry — which explains why we always feel like we’re being chipped and chiseled. ‘Why am I next to this blockhead?’ you ask or ‘Why are they part of the family?’ Because as living stones, we constantly rub against each other, knocking rough edges off each other in the process. You see, God puts us right next to the very people He knows will smooth us down so He can build us up into a temple for His glory. The problem is I try to get away from the blockhead I’m rubbing up against. But because God puts us in fixes to fix us, He puts us with people and in situations He knows will shape us most effectively. So if I try to fix the fix God put me in, He will be faithful to put me in another fix to fix the fix He wanted to fix in the first place! If we don’t learn this, we’ll go from fix to fix until finally we say, ‘OK, Lord. I’m not going to try to fix this or wiggle out of that, but I’m going to embrace and accept where You have me because I know You’re doing a work on me, shaping me for eternity.’ This Daily Devotional is an excerpt from the book "A Days Journey" by Pastor Jon. "A Days Journey" is a collection of 365 short devotions from the New Testament.

Living a Life of Open Hands

Its almost been a week since Nick left. So, although things are not easy, I can feel God's strength. It is difficult, being away from my best friend without communication, but I am trusting God, and listening to His direction. I am so blessed to be surrounded by such great friends and family :D

Thank You all for your prayers and words of encouragement.

Something the Lord has been showing me, is something I have always known, but now am really experiencing for the first time. Living a life of open hands. Being willing to hold everything in your hand in an open position so the Lord can take it freely if He wants to. Everything we have, we are blessed with, is Gods. My family, friends, possessions etc. We need to be living a life knowing that at anytime anything can be taken because everything is on loan from God to you. Your spouse, children, family etc. Although Nick has not been taken away for good, and I am thankful for that, I am realizing how to live a life with open hands, surrendering all to Jesus, knowing that He is in control and owns everything I have. I am so blessed with many things in life and am thankful for them all. I am and will continue to live a life of open hands, knowing that God can take anything at any time. No it is not, and will not be easy when this happens, but God uses these times to force us to rely and trust Him more, and I am thankful for that.

This song has really been speaking to me, its called "Open Hands" by Matt Papa

Verse 1:
To give unselfishly, to love the least of these
Jesus i'm learning how to live with open hands
All of these treasures that i hold will never satisfy my soul
Jesus i lay it at your throne with open hands

chorus:
And i lift my hands open wide let the whole world sing
how u've loved, how you died, how you set me free!
Free at last i surrender all i am with open hands
with open hands

Verse 2:
To finally let go of my plans
These earthly kingdoms built of sand
Jesus at your cross i stand with open hands

chorus:
And i lift my hands open wide let the whole world sing
how u've loved, how you died, how you set me free!
Free at last i surrender all i am with open hands
with open hands
You took the nails and you wore the crown
You hung your head, your love poured out
You took my place and you paid the price
So Jesus now i will give my life!!!!!!!!!

chorus:
And i lift my hands open wide let the whold world sing
how u've loved, how you died, how you set me free!
Free at last i surrender all i am with open hands
Jesus i lift my hands open wide let the whole world sing
how u've loved, how you died, how you set me free!
Free at last i surrender all i am with open hands with open hands

with open hands
with open hands
with open hands

Another song is "While I'm waiting" by John Waller (many of you have prob. heard this in the movie Fireproof, great movie :) if you haven't seen it, you should)

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

This song has really been a blessing too, because I am waiting for the exciting day when I will be able to talk to and see Nick again.

I have felt a little convicted lately, because I look forward to times in life so much, and different events, Christmas, being done with school, going to Glen Ivy with Michelle, being married,having a family, going to disneyland, it FINALLY being January so I can see Nick.... many things in life. When we are excited about something we usually tell people about them, because we can't help but share some excitement with friends and people we see. How much more should we be so excited and telling people about when we will see Jesus face to face :) Although we know when those things in life will occur, and we don't know exactly when Jesus will return, we should live each day as if today were the day, because it very well could be :)

So while we are waiting for, whatever it is in life, AND most importantly for Christ's return, we are to worship, serve and run the race with boldness and confidence.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

Hebrews 12:1-2

When He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. Job 23:10

November 14
	… Being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
	1 Peter 1:7
‘I know you’re going through exceedingly difficult days, with even tougher times coming your direction,’ says Peter, ‘but you can choose to rejoice. Why? Because trials strengthen faith.’ In likening faith to gold tried by fire, Peter reaches back to a statement made by a man who knew uniquely what it meant to go through trials and difficulties ... but he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. Job 23:10 In Bible times, when a man wanted to make something of fine gold, he would subject the golden ore to such intense heat that all of the impurities would be burned out. And the goldsmith would know that the work was done when he could see the reflection of his own face in the liquefied gold.  The same thing is true with us. The Lord says, ‘I’ve got big plans for you, huge plans not just for this life, but for eternity. Therefore, I may need to turn up the heat a bit to work out the impurities. But My hand is on the thermostat. I know exactly what I’m doing. And, although at the present moment, it might not be easy, you’ll thank Me for the next billion years to come because what I’m after is to see the reflection of My face in your life.’ Why? God doesn’t want to see His reflection in our lives because He’s on some sort of an ego trip, but because He knows that although we may not realize it, what we really want is to be like Him. But there are things in our lives which keep that from happening. So the way He deals with them is to turn up the heat a bit in order that we’ll come out of the fire stronger in faith and more like the Lord.  ... but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us (Romans 5:3). When you finally understand this, you’ll rejoice in difficulty rather than rebel because you’ll see it as a purifying process which will work wonderful things into your life. Tribulation works patience because when you’re going through difficulty, there’s not a lot you can do other than wait for the Master Goldsmith to finish the process. Patience in turn works experience as we learn that God truly knows what He’s doing. And experience works hope — the absolute expectation of coming good. This Daily Devotional is an excerpt from the book "A Days Journey" by Pastor Jon. "A Days Journey" is a collection of 365 short devotions from the New Testament.

Day 1- Keeping Busy.

So today was the first day I didn't see Nick, since he left so early yesterday, that doesn't count. I have always known that when you are busy time goes by faster, and luckily I have always managed to keep myself busy, all of my life. I have always had a lot going on and at times have had to force myself to relax and take time off of things. Well now, I feel like I am not busy at all, which I still am to many people, but to me I am not. Today I talked to him on the phone a couple of times and he is now in Great Lakes, Illinois. He made it safely :) I think tomorrow will be harder because it will be the first day I don't talk to him at all. REALLY weird. Anyway, I have already written 1 letter last night, and will write at least 1 every day. I promised him that, and will keep my word. Unfortunately I do not have the address yet, so until then I will store the letters in my room then send them all (labeled by date so he knows the order) until then. It should be here in the next week I think. Anyway, I am so thankful for my friends. I have had many conversations, texts and visits from many people. Yesterday before school, my good friend Michelle showed up with Starbucks for me ( a blueberry muffin and pumpkin spice latte (without the coffee bc I cant have coffee bc of my heart)). It was such a nice surprise. After school I went to Ily's house and me her and Michelle hung out with me until Michelle had to work and I hung with Ily. I got a call from Nick yesterday telling me about his flight and that things were going well. Eventually Walter came home and we went out for a surprise. Dessert! mMMmMMMm... so we decided to go to Michelle's work (macaroni grill) and visit her. It was so nice to hang out with good friends, but I have to admit, it was hard because normally Nick is right along with us. Michelle gave Ily and I a stem of flowers :) Then I was so tired, I only got about 3 hours of sleep the night before so I came home and slept. Anyway I am so blessed by my friends and their support. I have definitely had hard moments but I can definitely feel the Lords presence. Tonight after class I wanted to go to the gym so I invited Michelle to go with me. I think it will be our Tue night thing, gym after class. I also sent a text to Nick's sister, Jessica, and we are going on Thur. I love going to the gym, I always have, but lately have not made time for it. So now, I have plenty of time to go. It helps a lot and I know Nick is working out too so I feel like were kind of, a little, in the same place. 

I have also been able to keep in contact with Nick's family, which is such a blessing, I am so blessed that we are able to talk, even when he is far away.

So anyway.... thats an update, just keeping busy, tomorrow I go back to work (I took 4 days off, 2 before and 2 after he left) so that should be interesting. Anyway..... thats the update. :)

the 9 weeks officially begins....

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7